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What to do when you're catfished

Danielle
Danielle
5 Oct 2015
I was recently asked by TheDebrief to give some tips on what to do if you have been catfished on tinder. Here’s the scoop:

So, the 'catfish' is out of the bag hey? Cue instant feelings of hurt, humiliation and anger. The first thing to remember is that you are not the one in the wrong here. And you are certainly not alone in this happening. So what to do when they really were too good to be true? those first date nerves were warranted? Hear the person out, briefly. The person may be fake but your feelings were real, so treat it like any other 'break up' and get some closure. The catfish likely already has low self-esteem, so screaming in their lying face may make you feel better but be the bigger person. Hold your head high, walk away and most importantly don't let this knock your dating confidence. There are plenty more (genuine) fish in the sea and all that.

The Dos and Don’ts of being catfished
Do hear the catfish out to get some closure for your own benefit.
Do treat it like a normal break up - your feelings were real even if the person is fake.
Do learn from this mistake and protect yourself from it happening again.

Don't beat yourself up over it - they are in the wrong, not you.
Don't lose your cool, be the bigger person.
Don't let it knock your confidence.

You may have just learned a big lesson in dating the hard way, but try these tips to avoid it happening again:

Do follow the golden rule 'if it seems too good to be true it probably is'.
Do meet up sooner rather than later. Being duped over a week is much less painful than being duped over 6 months. Always meet in public.
Do try offline dating too - singles events are a great way to meet real people in real life.
Do cross check the profile picture in google's image search function. Does the photo appear on multiple accounts? Hello catfish.

Don't be afraid to indulge in a bit of cyber stalking. Facebook accounts with low numbers of friends, few tags and professional photos scream catfish.
Don't give away too much info about yourself too soon.
Don't accept never ending excuses to avoid speaking on the phone/skype/facetime or to meet up in person.
Don't ignore your gut feeling if something seems (cat)fishy.

Hope to see you all at one of my speed dating London events soon,

Dani
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