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What to Do on a First Date With a Girl [First Date Tips for Men]

Sophie
Sophie
14 Apr 2020
First dates can be very nerve racking and sometimes you can feel unprepared or not really know exactly what to do on your date. Here at SpeedDater, we understand that, especially when people attend our events, with little experience in dating or the industry in general. Therefore, we have created some first date tips for men out there who need a little more guidance on their first dates. If you’re feeling nervous, anxious or unsure, these tips for a first date with a girl can definitely help you through that and make you a more confident dater in no time and maybe even get you a second date!

18 Best Tips for First Date for Men



Dress Appropriately


This first of our favourite tips for first dates for men is very important as women will always notice how you’re dressed. You want to always make sure that you’re dressing to impress! You could also prepare what you’re wearing just after you’ve booked the date, obviously don’t over prepare though. Sometimes it just helps to ease your nerves if you know exactly what you’re wearing and you feel good in it.
Make sure to also check where you’re going and what the venue recommends wearing or what would be the best outfits for this kind of place. If you’re joining us for your first date, we recommend that you come in a freshly ironed shirt, jeans and some nice shoes. Even if your first date is not with us at SpeedDater, you could still use these guidelines.

Plan Your Date


Showing initiative is very attractive. When picking a venue, think of somewhere you will both enjoy. You want to give off the right impressions. For your first date, you may want to pick somewhere where you can sit and get to know each other. Or maybe you’d rather try something a little more creative or activity based - try to find somewhere she may have never been before. Failing that, find a place where you can both have fun and feel relaxed. If you’re struggling to find somewhere, here at SpeedDater, we have many activity type events that may just inspire you. An activity type of date will help you to take your mind off actually dating and you can then focus on solely enjoying eachothers company!

Pick an Appropriate Venue


You may have ideas of where you’d like to go, but remember to ask her what her preference is first and what she’d like to do. This is also a very attractive trait. If you’re looking to just go for drinks or to a fancy restaurant - there are many types of venues that we recommend that we actually use for speed dating, some are a little more expensive; Brasserie Blanc, Samuel Pepys & The Gable but these are stunning venues that i’m sure your date would be very impressed by. If you’re feeling a venue that is a little more foody but still stylish and central; Revolution, Shutters, All Bar One. These venues provide a variety of drinks and food, so if you’re feeling like eating on your date and having a cocktail but are not sure where to go, one of these places could definitely work!

Show Your Date that She is Your Priority


You want to make sure that she feels special so don’t be late! Being on time shows your date that you’re prioritising her rather than something else that she may think you’d prefer to be doing. Checking your phone is also a huge X. This just shows that you are more interested in whatever you’re looking at, when you should be focusing on getting to know her.

Ask Questions


Asking questions is just a simple tip, you should know this. There are many different questions you should ask to get to know your date on a more personal level - of course you may be nervous, but luckily we have some questions for you incase you become too nervous to remember what to talk about;
What's your favourite place in the entire world?
Do you have any siblings?
Did you go to university? If so, what did you study?
What is your favourite thing to do on the weekend?
These are just a few great questions included in our first date advice for men that you could ask that will open up to following questions and broaden the conversation, whilst also learning a lot about your date. What could be better?! You tell me…
Remember though, showing genuine interest is very attractive to women. She wants you to get to know her, what do you want to know about her? Listen and don’t do all the talking!

Compliment Your Date


Women love to be complimented - they will usually spend a lot of time preparing for the dates and would like you to know that. Try and compliment her smile or her dress, not just her body. This shows that not only you are interested in what she’s saying but also the way she looks, because obviously we have to find people physically and mentally attractive. However, if you appreciate something about her personality, the compliment will hit deeper, but she’d also like to know that you think she looks cute!

Offer to Pay or at Least Split the Bill


You want to treat your date and she wants to feel like she’s being treated, especially on the first date. If you planned the date, you should know if you can afford it. However, some women are a lot more picky about this and would prefer if men pay the full bill, and some women would rather split or pay sometimes too. It just depends. Maybe offer to pay on the first date anyway, even if she says let’s split instead at least you tried.

Be a Gentleman


It may sound old fashioned, but open the doors, pull out the chairs and hold the door open. Women love this politeness in a gentleman, we promise. Make sure to also be polite in conversation, no one likes a rude or arrogant man who just tends to talk about himself. Try and avoid swearing or telling offensive jokes, especially on the first date when you don’t really know how she’d react to a joke like that. Hold that off for when you know her on a more personal level. Keep your hands to yourself too - this might seem obvious but no woman on a date would appreciate it if your hands are wandering away! This surely is just first date etiquette for men?!

Have Fun


Dates can be very nerve wracking but we just encourage you to have fun and relax. Hopefully the woman you’re on a date with will also be in the same mood and wanting to have fun and laugh the night away with you. So go ahead, crack a few jokes to get her laughing! Especially if there are any awkward silences, maybe have some jokes or fun things to say prepared.

Avoid These Topics


Money - women would rather not speak about their finances or yours during the first date. If you earn a lot, it doesn’t need to be mentioned at this time, save it for when you really need to talk about it. Talking about money can just be boring and it isn’t a very exciting topic to discuss on a first date so just leave that out for now!
Marriage - This could be regarding past marriages or marriage in the future, but best to leave this subject out of the question on the first date… you’re only getting to know each other, you’re not her boyfriend so no getting down on one knee just yet! It is probably not great if you start asking about previous marriages too, women may be a little put off by this and just want you to be open about your interests and hers instead of diving into the deep questions about marriage!
Kids - You may want kids of your own someday, and that is completely okay, but avoid talking about this on the first date, it may come across a little too keen if you’re saying you’d like to have kids and you’ve only just met! So hold your horses and wait until the time is right to talk about topics like this. You may also have kids already and maybe she does too, but this also can be left out for the first date, I’m sure neither of you want to hear about dirty nappies and kid duties, talk about yourselves and get to know each other properly! There will be plenty more time to discuss your kids.
Exes - Who wants to talk about who they’ve previously dated on a date… and why do you want to know?! Keep your ex questions to yourself and if you really want to talk about exes, maybe that means you’re not completely over yours. It may come across this way to the woman you’re on a date with and you definitely don’t want that, especially if you are over your ex. There is also absolutely no need for you to know about her exes, she’ll tell you if and when she wants!

Shower, and wear some nice aftershave!


This also may be very obvious but one of the best first tips for teenage guys in particular; sometimes you may be in a rush or going on your date after work so perhaps take some aftershave with you to work so that you’re not smelling of the office and what you had for lunch! Ladies love a good smelling man, so get something nice and don’t forget to put it on before your date. If you have more time, have a shower, this not only will make you smell amazing but a shower is such a great way to get rid of those pre date nerves and just step back and relax for a second. So take the time to shower and have some you time before you go out.

Don't Brag


This is one of the most obvious first date rules for guys; Women are often put off by a man who brags about how much they earn, their important job, or their muscles. You should just relax and let her do the work and pay compliments to you, which we’re sure she will. Women would rather know about whether you prefer cats or dogs than what you can do with your muscles or the type of car you have.

Keep your Intentions Clear


Throughout the whole process of talking to someone and going on dates, make sure that the woman is aware of your motives and intentions. It is not fair to not say where you’re at in your head, she needs to know how you’re feeling. If you would like to date this woman and perhaps want to give her a gift , make it clear, be confident with how you’re feeling and what your brain is telling you! Also, before you go on a date with someone, ask yourself, does she know it’s a date or just thinking it is a friendly meet up.

Organise a Daytime Date for the First Date


Daytime is the new night time! Daytime dates can be so fun and you can do so much if you have the whole day; maybe go for a coffee to chat and get to know each other then do something a bit more creative if you both have enough time. For day time dates, choose a saturday, because you will probably both work Monday - Fridays. If you are a teenager, it may be easier to do a weekday, but Saturday works better, if you want more time together! Day time dates are often less nerve wracking and require less preparation, creating less tension and pressure for both of you. Women are often pressured into dressing up if it's an evening date, when it could just be so much more relaxed in the day time. It also provides a safer environment for women in the day time as they don’t have to worry about getting home in the evening. So what are you waiting for? Message her online and ask her to go on a coffee date next Saturday!

Show Your Vulnerable Side


This is one of our favourite tips for a first date with a girl; Although many first dates do commence with small talk and awkward questions, that doesn’t mean that it can’t lead into you talking about something you’re really passionate about or something you put a lot of your time and energy into. This will show your date that you have interests but also passion for things and this is a very attractive trait for a male. It also makes you come across vulnerable, in a good way, telling them something interesting about you, like volunteering, crafting or designing! This will also make the conversation flow more, especially when you’re just talking about something you enjoy doing. It’s a great topic too because you can learn more about your dates interests too and what makes them excited and get them to show their vulnerable and passionate side!

Keep it Short and Sweet


First dates don’t need to go on for hours, and don’t worry you will get a chance to meet again if it went well for both of you so just keep the first date short and sweet so you’re both wanting another date straight after. Your first time meeting should be no longer than an hour. This is enough time to see if there is a connection, and then you can leave the rest of the getting to know each other for the second date.

Speed Dating Events


We can provide first date advice for guys at SpeedDater - if you are finding it difficult to go on a date or have no idea where to go, we can provide everything for you here at SpeedDater. You could be in for a night of drinks, flirtiness and gifts in a stunning venue close to home with up to 12 other women to get to know instead of just one! We have a variety of events for you to try too; cooking classes, wine tasting, pizza making, speed duetting and quiz nights, so if you’re in the mood for a more activity based date then SpeedDater have got your back!

End Your Date with a Bang


There are always peak moments within dates that will be more memorable, but you should ensure that the end of the date is also one to remember so that the woman walks away smiling and thinking about it. If the date went well, who knows, but it could end in kissing or a planning of the next date. If the date didn’t go well or how you hoped it would, don’t be disheartened and still try and end the date in a positive and mature manner as this would be very respected by the woman. End it on a high note either way and it will remain memorable!

Conclusion


Hopefully these first date tips for guys have helped you in preparation for your first date, and we hope you have a romantic time. Remember to dress well, be prepared; think of where you’d like to go, have some questions ready that you’d like to ask and think about the first date do's and don’ts for guys . Women are very attracted to men who prepare themselves and who come across like they know what they’re doing. Prioritise her and make her feel special, women have different ways of feeling special but the way you treat them will always be a bonus. Ask questions and get to know her, what is the point after all of being on a date if you don’t want to get to know someone?! We promise that this is how to have a good first date for guys. If you are still struggling to get yourself out on a first date and preparing all the little details like where to go or what to do, you could just book yourself onto a speed dating event instead! Speed dating is a great way of meeting people at one time and we hope that you will join us in finding love.
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