Consciously Coupling Or Just Cuffing Season?
A real change is in the air and I am not just talking about the weather; it’s cuffing season. Singles have gone from being fun, flirty and care-free at this time of year to ‘consciously coupling’ and getting serious about snuggling under the duvet at least for the colder months. The Urban Dictionary tells us this about cuffing season - the moment when "people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves, along with the rest of the world, desiring to be tied down by a serious relationship (at least to see the colder months through).The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed."
Cuffing season lasts from November to March and this isn't just millennial terminology it’s a very real and evolutionary process of seeking warmth and comfort as the days get shorter, the nights get longer and it’s physically much colder. According to many sources 11th December is the most fertile day of year which suggests we humans are typically ensuring we stay warm in the height of winter.
Naturally, around the holiday season there is a lot of social pressures to bring someone special home for Christmas, Hanukkah, the holidays or even to have that smooch with when the clock gongs on New Year’s. So let’s explore getting real with what we want, a relationship isn’t just for Christmas you guys.
How can you tell if it’s set to last with your SpeedDater match or it’s just a seasonal cuffing? Here’s three ways.
1) If you’re feeling a little bit of the age old ‘online dating burnout’ post-Summer there is every chance you want to snuggle up with a significant other and you’ve had enough of trailing through profiles. You might decide to exclusively date to give yourself a rest from lots of dating, if you’re thinking more about sharing your Sunday mornings with someone rather than their personality, their values and the longevity of the relationship you might have then you may just be cuffing and you might be subconsciously cuffing with them.
2) If you’re taking stock of the things you have achieved throughout the year but feel that a significant relationship is not one of those things you may rush into something in the latter months for the sake of having someone. Finding love shouldn’t be on a to-do list, and so if you find it’s a box ticking exercise, you may very well be a seasonal sufferer - make sure the person you are currently dating is in sync with you on many levels. It’s nice to have someone but be sure that you are in it for all the right reasons - honesty with yourself and with those around you will ensure precious time is spent with the right person.
3) If you somehow realise that you’re thinking more about what series on Netflix to binge on with your new romantic person of interest or that you can’t wait to go and see some festive lights with them rather than how compatible you are then perhaps you are only in it for the winter months romantically - maybe it’s more sexual or seasonal than a significant other.
If you feel like you are signing yourself up to this seasonal dating phenomena “cuffing”, then you probably are. If you feel committed, devoted and like this person is the person you choose for the long run romantically then that’s great, keep going! The one thing you can do to ensure you have damage control over any dating scenario is to be brutally honest with yourself the whole way through - you deserve ultimate happiness and so ensure you are getting just that, always.
One of our fabulous SpeedDater hosts and relationship Expert Sarah Louise Ryan is our guest blogger this month. Read more