SpeedDater
Love Yourself First
Sarah
11 Sep 2023

Love Yourself First

As we all know, dating fatigue is REAL. The endless disappointment, the constant guessing games and the feeling of rejection are all hard pills to swallow. This is my reminder to you all to go easy on yourselves, know that everyone is in the same boat and understand what it is you want from someone before embarking on your dating journey. People often say to me it’s ‘ironic’ that you are single doing the job that you do. My response has and will always be the same. I know what I want and I haven't found it yet. It’s simple, I love my own time and have really learnt how to embrace being ‘alone’. As the famous saying goes “It’s Much Better To Be Alone Than To Be With Someone Who Makes You Feel Lonely”.

So here are my top tips for you:

Take dating sabbaticals
This is important when you are dating to take small breaks when you feel overwhelmed or deflated. Take a step back and reevaluate. Spend more time with friends, doing hobbies you love or even date yourself for a little while! Time out is important and it helps to put you back in a positive mindset and come back with a fresh approach.

Take yourself for date nights
Now this is key for me personally. Learn how to date yourself, go out for dinner alone, to coffee shops, walks in the park. Learn how to do everything you love doing with someone, alone. I promise it helps. I understand at first you may feel lonely of uncomfortable, but once you get used to it there really is no better feeling than finding peace with spending time alone

Know what you want and don’t settle
This is hard for some people I know. Understanding what we want from another person is difficult to navigate. 9 times out of 10 as well we don't always tend to make the best choices for ourselves. Spend time to figure out what’s important to you. Your morals, your values and the qualities you look for in a partner and stay strong to them when you are dating.

Take the pressure off
Don’t put pressure on yourself when you are on your dating journey and certainly don’t listen to society and these ridiculous ( yes ridiculous) ideals that you should be somewhere by a certain age. Dating can be fun and it should be such a wonderful experience meeting new people. Don’t make it a chore and when it starts to feel like that then it's time for one of those dating sabbatical. 

Dating practice
This is where speed dating comes in, it's great for dating practice. It helps to build up confidence in meeting new people. Helping with social skills and having lots of different conversations with people also helps you find out a lot about what you are searching for in a partner.

Learn to be ghosted/blocked and when to let go
I think this headline could have a whole blog to itself, I have so much to say about it. It's certainly the hardest part of dating I think. I'll be honest, this one took me a while to navigate but what i’ve learnt to be the most important thing is know when to let go. I know sometimes we want that closure or to understand what we “did wrong”. Sending lengthy paragraphs to make the other person know you are hurt doesn't often help. It's important to know when to walk away and move on. I know it's SO much easier said than done. But learning how to master this helped me so much as when it happens to me now I feel like I can cope with the rejection. It's a hard skill to learn and it takes time and patience and a lot of work on yourself.

Know how to make yourself happy
And finally knowing how to make yourself happy is the most important in my eyes. You should never rely on someone else to make you happy, it should always come from within yourself. Once you learn this no one can take it away from you. People can come and go from your life and add to your happiness but never be the main provider of it. This will bring you so much peace and help you on your dating journey.

Big Love
Sarah

 

 

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